Haiku #200

#200

I'm writing this one

on our last day together...

...so I'll keep it short

Haiku #199

#199

What? Is something wrong?

It's just a typical day

in a butter hat.

Haiku #198

#198

Of all my haikus

this one is not about boys -

it's about a bear

*this awesome photo was taken by my talented husband at Maymont park

Haiku #197

#197

Now that he's tall enough

he can play like his brother...

or not... it's his call

Haiku 196

#196

Eli knows this well:

a trip to the train station

means it's cookie time

Haiku 195

Haiku #195

Watching for the train

they are both captivated

by the loud machine

Haiku #194

#194

Checking out the sheep

was a new experience

worthy of rainboots

Haiku #193

#193

While one boy bounces

the other enjoys the ride--

Well, I hope he does

Haiku #192

#192

Climbing and rolling

among the rocket wreckage

is par for the course

Haiku #191

#191

As the light shines down

he's drawn to the giant cow

like a confused moth

Train Station: A Preschooler's Photo Essay

A Preschooler's Eye

We visited the quaint train station in Ashland, VA today to watch for trains. When we arrived we met a group of 4 or 5 other camera-wielding trainspotters. We eavesdropped on their train stories and they gave us real time updates they were receiving on the their train chatter devices.

While we waited Eli used my camera to take some pictures. These are his images and have not been cropped or otherwise edited.

He REALLY wanted to take pictures of the other trainspotters but I said no (mean Mama). Maybe next time.

The trains roll by fast, close and loud so they are still a bit overwhelming. Once the trains arrived he wanted to cover his ears and watch, not take pictures. We saw 4 fours train but there is only 1 picture of a train.

I took this one:

Haiku #190

#190

How do I explain

his early fascination

with all sorts of bones?

Haiku #189

#189

I have to be loud;

I want the clouds to hear me!

(They do, little one)

Painfully poetic, my boy!

Haiku #188

#188

It wasn't my plan

to go out and slay dragons

but he was prepared

Haiku #187

#187

His first magic trick

is very slow sleight of hand

and a proud "Ta Da!"

Haiku #186

#186

Peek through the windows

and you will see a beached whale

at the museum

Haiku #185

#185

I did not foresee

a need to pack dry, clean clothes

for library day

Haiku #184

#184

For a split second

he's as still as a statue

playing peekaboo

Haiku #183

#183

Stomping in water

will always remind me of:

He's a maaaaaaaaaniac....

Haiku #182

#182

A wiggle of blue

runs across his reflection

for paint peek a boo

Haiku #181

#181

We avoid meltdown

by taking a break outside

and snapping photos

haiku #180

#180

After seven days

the first thing he wants to do

is wallow in toys

Haiku #179

#179

No photo effects...

no filter or instagram...

it's just steam and glee!

Haiku #178

#178

After a few pats

the goat returned the favor-

"Mama, he loves ME!"

Haiku #177

#177

A swirly soft serve

leaves behind evidence

of sticky goodness

Haiku #176

#176

First movie: Pt II

Yesterday's attempt went south

so we tried again

Haiku #175

#175

It's time to 'fess up--

I'd like to know who taught him:

C'mon Mama, pleeeeeeeeeeeease?!?!

haiku #174

#174

Our discovery:

A cool, quiet library

with a super train

Haiku #173

#173

The conversation

between my two silly boys

was all about hats

Haiku #172

#172

My little Buddha

shows off his big round belly

and his chocolate smile

Haiku #171

#171

Quiet and intense

he slowly cuts the paper

along all four sides

Haiku #170

#170

My "Dear Photograph..."

is not a perfect photo

but it makes me smile

The original photo was taken Fall, 1981 at Grace and Holy Trinity Child Care Center on the 1600 block of Floyd Avenue in Richmond, VA.

Haiku #169

#169

Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop. Flip.

Considering the options

he made a fine choice!

Haiku #168

#168

At 6:45

I hear "Maaaaama. Hey, Maaaaama.

Eli's still tiiiiiiiiiired."

Haiku #167

#167

I sent him upstairs

to put on clothes for dinner

and here's what he found

Haiku #166

#166

Baby's first words are:

"Buzz", "Yeeee-Haw!" and Rex's "Roaar!"

Thanks a lot, Pixar.

Practicing Positive Discipline

We're in an interesting place these days. It can be described as both constructive and destructive.

The little one, Lucas, has discovered a world of limitless mobility. At 13 months he can walk very steadily, has mastered going up the stairs ("climb the beanstalk" has we call it) and can climb onto the sofa and chairs. His pre-walker frustrations are gone and he's turned into a confident, happy toddler.

The world of our 2 1/2 year old (well 2 3/4), Eli, is now being invaded by a curious baby Godzilla. The tracks on the train table are thrown to the ground, the block tower is trampled and the skeleton puzzle, Mr. Bones, is butchered to bits. Nothing seems safe from his creeping fingers and Eli's only defense is to hit, kick, head-butt and push the toddler out of the way. At this point Lucas is pretty easy to topple over and does not react other than to move out of the way, if only momentarily. This development was both shocking and disappointing. I hate to think of either of my boys inflicting pain but I remember that Eli is an impulsive 2 year old and doesn't always have the vocabulary for communicating to me or Lucas that he just wants to be left alone to play.

I've consulted my parenting books of choice for ideas and I have searched high and low for parenting books specifically for parents of closely spaced children as we face challenges different from those of children 3, 4 or 5 years apart. Not harder, not easier... just different. I can't find a SINGLE book for parents of children like my boys who are 20 months apart. Using the positive discipline techniques outlined by Dr. Sears, with some strategies suggested by Dr. T. Berry Brazleton and using some ideas of my own we're attempting to build a happy medium allowing lots of toddler curiosity while giving the bigger boy the time and space he needs to work on his projects.

Here are some of the strategies we are finding have helped limit the amount of hitting and other hurtful touching:

1. It's ok to say no. If Eli is working on a project and Lucas interrupts it's ok to say "No, Lucas" using an appropriate voice. Lucas needs to learn boundaries and Eli needs to see that Lucas does not have free reign of the house. Eli also needs to know that we do respect his need for time and space.

2. If words do not work ask Mommy and Daddy for help.

3. If the toy is in Lucas' hand, it's his turn. When he's finished with the toy (he hands it over or it lands on the floor) Eli can have a turn.

4. Reward and acknowledge positive play... A LOT!

5. Be present. The hitting and pushing is at its max when I step out of the room or I am distracted. By staying present and aware we're able to work through situations as they happen instead of punishing the behavior after the fact.

As a very visual learner myself we worked on two visual reminders for encouraging positive "helping" hands.

We traced Eli's "helping" hands on a piece of paper. We talked about ways we can use our hands to help and make our friends happy. When we "catch" Eli using his helping hands he puts a smiley face sticker on his sign. At the end of the day we make a BIG deal of counting the stickers and talking about the ways he used his helping hands. Each day starts with a new piece of paper.

We made two Eli-sized bracelets using alphabet beads.

I wrote the words "share" and "hug" in large letters on a piece of paper. Eli found the letter beads to spell the words.

We put the beads on an elastic string so he can wear the bracelets like Mama.

This is all an experiment. I will modify as I go along. Do what works, change what doesn't. Updates to follow!